They said it couldn't be done, but by the year 2069 scientist have the ability to shirk matter down to the size of an atom, as a result free enterprise capitalizes on this new technology and offers unique vogues through the human body...
"Welcome aboard, Cynthia said, as her voice cackles over the intercom. The passengers enter a small cabin and move towards their assigned seats. "I'm Cynthia, your tour guide," She continues, "I'll be your host on this most incredible journey thru the human body. In about 60 seconds will be ready to take off."
A young woman entering the ship catches Cynthia's eye, she has long blond hair, blue eyes, and is dressed like Wonder Woman.
"Hello, are you Cynthia?" the young woman inquires.
"Yes, that's me."
"Nice to meet you, my name is Jill. I'm going to be working with you today."
"Great...Is today your first day hon?" Cynthia inquires.
"Oh a green-horn... I love it! Listen Jill, I know tonight is Halloween and you can't wait to show off your cool Halloween costume, but for now just listen and learn. And, if your good enough you'll be hosting your own ship within a few weeks."
Cynthia clicks on the mike... "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, in about 30 seconds our ship will be reduced the size of an atom and shot into the blood stream of today's host, John. Once inside him we'll visit his heart, lungs, kidneys and brain... Any questions thus far?"
"Yes," a man dressed like Batman said, "Is there anything that could go wrong?"
"Yes...Of course Mr. Batman, any time you invade the human body your always under attack from the body's immune system, however, don't fret our ship has built-in safeguards to protect us.
An old woman with a fake ax sticking out of her head inquires, "How long will the voyage take?"
"Good question, on average it takes about 1 hour.
"Will we visit any of the sex organs today?" A teenager said. Cynthia clicks off the mike, and whispers at into Jill's ear.
"We always get some joker that wants to visit the sex organs." She flips on the mike.
"People were not going to see any reproductive organs on this trip, just the organs I've already mention. Any other lame questions?" Silence... "Great, now I'm going to ask you to fasten your seat belts, we take-off in a few seconds."
And with that the vessel is miniaturized and shoot into the body, in-route to the heart...
"Up ahead folks you can see the human heart in action."
"Wow!" A man yells, as he jumps out of his seat.
"Our passengers always get excited when they see the heart in action," Cynthia said.
"Yes, I can see why. It's so awesome!" Cynthia clicks on the mike...
"In a person lifetime the heart beats more than two and a half billion times without resting. Each day it beast about 100,000 times a day and pumps about 2,000 gallons of blood... The average weight of the human heart is between 9 and 15 ounces. Although it looks like old John's heart is over 16 ounces..."
"Golly Gosh! Jill said. "How do you know his heart is over 16 ounces?"
"I don't," Cynthia whisperers, "I Just made it up!"
"Yea, you have to have to be spontaneous on these voyages or people will get bored. You need to razzle and dazzle the crowd. Remember, when in doubt just make something up."
The ship catches a gentle breeze and sails towards the lungs...
"Ladies and gentlemen were now approaching the Lungs. Due to increased air circulation will not be going through the lungs. Also, please make sure you put your seat belts back on, we might be in for a long, bumpy ride.
"Long, bumpy ride?" Jill giggles, "I love it."
"Thanks hon, I made that line up myself."
"Sure did!" The mike crackles on... "Folks each day we take 23,000 breaths, that means almost 2,500 gallons of air circulates thru our lungs daily. The main purpose of the lungs is two-fold: first, to suck oxygen from the air and transport it into the blood stream. And secondly, to release carbon dioxide from the bloodstream and expel it back into the environment. Any questions thus far?"
"I heard the lungs are kind of spongy, is that true?" a voice inquires.
"Good question. Yes, the lung is like a wet sponge, filled with tiny thin-walled cavities called alveoli.
Another person asks, "Does the exchange of gasses, oxygen and carbon dioxide occur in the alveoli?"
"Wow, that's correct sir! It sounds like you're a first-year medical student trying to show off! Any other questions?"
"Are we going thru the lungs today?" a zombie inquires.
Cynthia rolls her eyes and clicks off the mike.
"Oy Vey, I told these meshuggenehs five minutes ago that we weren't going thru the lungs, do these idiots listen or what?" Jill shrugs her shoulders not knowing what to say.
"People like I said before, were not going thru the lungs. You don't want us to get caught in a strong wind and crash into John's air sac.... do you?... hum?" She clicks off the mike and smiles...
"So Jill, who interviewed you for the job?"
"Are you serious?"
"Oh Wow, that woman is such an idiot..."
"Tell me about it!" Jill said with a smile. "After the interview was over, she gave me a dirty look, and told me I was wrong for the job. So, I was surprised when she called me back the next day and hired me."
"We'll I not surprised you got the job."
"Why is that?"
"Well look at you hon, your young, cute and have nice perky boobs."
Jill's face turns bright red. "Thanks, I guess."
"Don't worry, I'm not coming on to you, I'm just saying management like them young and a pretty. She clicks on the mike. "People our next dentition is the Kidneys."
"Folks were now deep inside the left kidney. The Kidneys process about 50 gallons of blood each day and eliminates about 2 quarts of waste, which is expelled from the body as urine. Human waste products travel via the bloodstream and gets filtered by tiny units inside the Kinney called nephrons..."
At the back of the vassal Cynthia sees little girl jumping up and down like a Jack-In-The-Box, if fact she is wearing a Jack-In-The-Box Halloween costume, how cute.
"Do you have a question young miss?"
"Where does waist come from?" she said hopping up.
"Thak's an O.K question, I guess. Waste products usually come from the very food we eat and from our body's tissue. The nephrons filter this waste."
"Are there lots of nep...neph..nephrons?"
"About 1 million."
"Wow!" She said, slumping back into her seat.
"Any other questions? Alright then, our next destination will be the brain. ETA is approximately 20 minuets..."
"Are you hungry hon?" Cynthia inquires as she opens up a box of crackers.
"We're not supposed to eat on the job, but I like to munch on something every now and then. Here, take a few." She drops several brain, stomach, and heart shaped crackers into her hand.
"Oh, how cute, Jill said, "my crackers are in the shape of human organs."
"Yea, is that cool or what? You can buy them at the gift shop." The ship cruses around the kidneys for five minutes then enters the bloodstream in-route to the brain...
"Ladies and Gents, boys and girls we've arrived at our final destination, the brain. The human brain is made up of many parts include the cerebrum, cerebellum, brain stem, pituitary gland, and hypothalamus.
At this moment were inside the cerebrum which is the largest part of the brain. The cerebrum controls thinking and voluntary muscles movement, such as walking or running..."
The guests are mesmerized as the brain's neuron's transfer information with a bright electrical pulse.
"So where did you work last Jill?"
"I was a telemarketer."
"Oh... I hate telemarketers. I remember one time I forgot to turn off my brain-link before bed - and Ohmygod, the next day I awoke and heard a voice inside my head. It was a salesperson trying to sell me a new arm.
"Oh my, what did you do?"
"I told him to, 'get the hell out of my head', and hung-up my brain-link."
The ship floats thru the brain for almost 1/2 hour and eventually moves towards the optic nerve.
"Folks we'll be exiting the brain in about 60 second, on behalf of MGA Entertainment INC, I would like to thank you for joining us today. And of course, have a happy Halloween tonight."
"Thank you for all your help," Jill said with a smile.
"No problem, Kid-O, it was my pleasure. Maybe we can do lunch one day?"
The ship floats around in the optic nerve for a few second and exits the left eye via a tear drop...